So technically...

I'm not even a parent yet! I mean, I don't know how much parenting you can actually do with your child still in your stomach.. But I'm getting frustrated with this little one and as always, frustration needs to be worked out with WRITING! It helps sometimes.. In about 20 minutes I need to start getting ready to head over to the Health Department to pick up my carseat and go to my doctors appointment. I'm kinda not looking forward to the doctors appointment... the lady that examines me and makes sure everything is looking okay is really nice and all, that's not the problem.

The problem is the fact that TOMORROW I will hit 40 weeks and I just *know* that I'm not even close (and when I say not even close I mean within the week) to giving birth. I could be wrong but I think its something that women just know.. who knows? I've never done this before.. So anyways like I was saying, the problem with my doctors appointment today is that she's gonna tell me that I have to start scheduling and attending Stress Tests twice a week to make sure the baby is alright. Which is fine I suppose, I wouldn't want the baby getting all stressed out and messed up and stuff. I just don't wanna have to drive an extra hour to the place for the tests! Selfish, yes? Grrrr.

((Oh, its raining outside! Hubby is on his way to work, I hope he gets there alright.. it's not raining too hard though. I bet this is from Hurricane Ida..))

I am soooo frustrated and fed up with being pregnant right now! I feel selfish and terrible for saying that but it's how I'm feeling right now. Meh. I guess I'm allowed to feel frustrated seeing as they've already moved my due date back (my original due date was October 27th) so I'm *technically* two weeks over. I'm also slightly frustrated cause I know they won't induce me till I'm two weeks over my now official due date... which would put me delivering 2 days before Thanksgiving. Which would mean I wouldn't get out of the hospital till - you guessed it - Thanksgiving! And that's just not good for me! My sisters aren't coming back from college this year for Thanksgiving so it's up to my momma and I to do the cooking for our small get-together.. She doesn't need to be doing all that work..

And then there lies my other problem, being patient and trusting that God knows what he is doing! BLAH. It's so hard to do that when it's human nature to worry about EVERYTHING and its BROTHER. It's so much easier to worry about things than to let them go.. at least it's easier for me. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I never thought I'd meet the love of my life.. I finally gave up worrying about it (that only took me 7 years) and met Mitch not long after. I never thought I'd get pregnant (especially cause we weren't even using protection like we should have been!) and when I finally start giving that one to God, I got pregnant. Those things are understandably harder to give up because you don't look at the timer and go "mmkay, bake for 9-10 months and DONE!" they just happen when they happen. THIS one I'm worrying about actually has an estimated due date and I STILL can't let it go!

What if it doesn't work out exactly like I want it to? Well... since when do I get to say how my world is run!? I cannot see everything, I don't know everything.. therefore I don't KNOW when it's best for this baby to be born. God will not give me more than I can handle. Plus I didn't want him to be born before his stroller got here... his stroller isn't estimated to arrive till 11/11 - 11/16 so God is probably banging His head against the wall going "MAKE UP YOUR MIND CHILD!"

That's the frustration I bring to others.....

Alright, I still have six minutes before I need to start getting ready but I do move a lot slower now.. and I think I've run out enough steam that I'll be able to peacefully breeeeaaaaathe my way through today. I get to go yell at my bank today too.. ohjoy =/

Later. :)